What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and understand your emotions and the emotions of others. Someone who is emotionally intelligent can manage their emotions, understands how their emotions contribute to their thoughts and behaviours, and can empathise with others. 

Emotions influence the way we think and behave. When we are stressed or experience strong emotions this can impair our ability to make good decisions and think clearly. Being able to understand, control, and express our emotions appropriately is an important skill. 

Having good emotional intelligence means you are able to regulate your emotions, and allows you to deal with stress and perform well under pressure. People with high emotional intelligence are better able to deal with failure and criticism, work well with others, form stronger relationships, and are better communicators and leaders.

 

Four key areas of emotional intelligence:

1) Self-awareness. 

Being self-aware means you are able to recognise and understand your emotions. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and how your emotions influence your behaviours and the people around you. Self-awareness is often seen as the foundation of emotional intelligence and is a concept that is closely related to mindfulness. 

2) Self-management. 

Self-management, also called self-regulation, is the ability to control your impulses and strong emotions. When we are stressed or experiencing strong emotions we can find it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions. This can have a negative impact on our behaviour. Being able to regulate our emotions can help us make better choices. 

3) Empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand others emotions and share in what they are feeling. This is sometimes called social awareness. 

4) Social skills. 

Having good social skills, or relationship management skills, means you are able to work well in a team, maintain and build strong relationships, and manage conflict. 
 

How can I improve my emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a skill which we can develop and improve over time.

Here are some suggestions of ways to improve your emotional intelligence -

Reflect:

  • Reflect on your own emotions.
    • Take time to pause, recognise how you are feeling, and name these emotions.
    • Think about how your emotions influence your behaviour.
  • Reflect on others emotions.
    • How do others' emotions influence their behaviour? What might be causing them to feel this way?
  • Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses.
    • What are you good at? And what are some areas of your life that you need to improve in?

Journal:

  • Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and emotions can help you develop self-awareness.

Practice mindfulness meditation:

  • Mindfulness is the act of being fully aware of your body and your surroundings in the present moment. It is taking the time to pause, focus on how you are feeling, and accept these feelings without judgement. Practising mindfulness meditation can make you more aware of your emotions and the influence they have on your behaviour.

Practice “putting yourself in someone else's shoes”:

  • We can practise empathy by imagining what others are thinking and feeling.

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