What should I do if I think someone is having suicidal thoughts? How can I support them?

If we are worried that someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts it can be hard to know what to say or do. Suicide is a challenging topic. It can be difficult to know how to start a conversation about it and how you can support this person.

If someone is in immediate danger - Call 111:

If you are worried someone is in immediate danger then call 111 or your local mental health crisis line. If you can, take them to the nearest hospital emergency department. 

While you are waiting for help …

  • Stay - do not leave the person alone. 
  • Make sure they are in a safe environment - remove anything they could use to hurt themselves.
  • Tell them they are loved, they matter, and you care about them. 
  • Keep talking to them and listen without judgement. 

 

Signs that someone may be having suicidal thoughts:

Someone who is having suicidal thoughts may not tell you they feel this way, but there may be things they do or say which indicate that they need help. 

Here are some examples of things to look out for …

  • They may say that others would be better off without them, that they have nothing to live for, or that they want to die. 
  • They may feel depressed, low, angry, or lose interest in things they used to enjoy.
  • They may hurt themselves, sleep more, stop taking medication, give away their belongings, or become isolated from whānau/ family/ friends. 

 

Here are some ways to support someone who is experiencing thoughts of suicide:

Have a conversation:

If you are concerned that someone is having thoughts of suicide, talk to them. This can be a difficult conversation but it is an important one to have. 

You could start by saying you are worried and ask what’s going on. For example - “You seem like something is on your mind and I’m concerned about you. Are you ok? Can we talk about what’s going on for you?”

If they do not want to talk about this, don’t pressure them. Let them know you are there for them and ready to talk when they are ready. If they don’t feel comfortable talking to you, encourage them to talk to someone else they trust. They may prefer to talk to a family member, friend, faith or community leader, doctor, or mental health professional.

Any mention of suicide or wanting to die should be taken seriously. If they mention suicide, ask if they have a plan. If they have a plan, get them help immediately. 
 

Listen:

If can be extremely hard to open up to someone about thoughts of suicide. If someone chooses to share these thoughts with you, take them seriously, allow them to talk, acknowledge their feelings, and listen without judgement.

 

Help them access professional support: 

It is important that people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts get professional help. If someone you know if having thoughts of suicide or struggling with their mental health, encourage them to make an appointment with a doctor or mental health professional. You may be able to help them by making the appointment, assisting with transport to the appointment, and/or going along as a support person if this is something that they want.


Create a safety plan:

It can be helpful to create a safety plan outlining what the person can do if they are having suicidal thoughts or feel unsafe. Make a list of things they could do and people they could call for support. Discuss how you and others can help them in these situations.

 

Let them know they are loved, people care about them, and there is help available:

Someone who is experiencing thoughts of suicide may feel like they are a burden on others. They may feel alone, unloved, and ashamed or embarrassed that they are having thoughts of suicide. Let them know that people care about them and they will get through this. 


Remember to take care of yourself:

Supporting someone who is having suicidal thoughts can take a toll on your own mental health. It is important to look after yourself and ask for help if you need it. 

 

Helplines:

If you or someone you know are experiencing emotional distress or thoughts of suicide there are free confidential helplines available. Calls are answered by counsellors or trained volunteers.

For a full list of helplines go to the ‘Crisis Help’ page.

  • Need to Talk? - call or text 1737
  • Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
  • Lifeline - 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP)
  • Samaritans - 0800 726 666
  • Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757 or free text 4202

Helplines for children/ youth: